You suck at MvM and here’s why. Part 1

You suck at MvM.

What’s that? You’re asking why?

Well allow me to explain

You don’t know how each class works

MvM is different than standard TF2, you actually have to play as a team this time.

HAH, see that was a joke. It probably flew by your head but I don’t care I did it for myself. Moving on.

You don’t know how to play Scout

There are no caps to take, carts to push, or intel to steal. Instead, Scouts are basically whores, they will do anything to get money. You run in, shoot a few bots, and hopefully stay alive long enough to grab all the cash. Even if you die you respawn instantly, so you can be a bit more reckless when grabbing bills.

A scout’s job is also to take out anything that slips through the main line of defense. Mad milk helps a lot in this situation, it’s an absolute must to slow down the approaching wall of steel death, and it helps keep the rest of the team alive especially when focused on a single target. If you upgrade your sandman or use a fan o war you can help take out big bots by marking them, it makes a big difference. Also, there isn’t much you can do to tanks besides chip away at it a bit so you’re better off dealing with the other bots and slowing the bigger ones down while the others smash it up.

You don’t know how to play Soldier.

The role of a Soldier in MvM is to obviously do large amounts of damage. They can take out multiple small bots as well as do significant damage to big bots and tanks. It’s fairly straight forward and hard to fuck up, just remember to stay alive and keep a steady flow of fire, so always have a way to get more ammo.

Now, possibly the biggest thing people do not realize is how important having a buff banner, battalion’s backup, or even a concheror in MvM is. Always have one of these, always, fuck shotguns, and if you have mantreads or gunboats on I swear to god… Batallions backup is as equally effective as buff banner because it gives crit immunity, which can be a godsend if there are crit bots coming or if the bomb carrier activates the 3rd stage. concheror can be helpful as well since the rage on it charges faster than the others.

You don’t know how to play Pyro

Pyros can do a significant amount of damage, but the real beauty of the class is the airblast. I’m sure you already know the benefits of it from standard TF2 (reflecting projectiles, pushing enemies off cliffs, ect) but used properly it can turn the tables on a losing round by pushing the bomb carrier into a pit. Not only that, it can separate annoying medic bots before they uber, which people tend to overlook. Learn the map and remember spots where you can airblast bomb carriers into and your team will love you. As for tanks, you won’t be able to do much damage to them as they do not take afterburn damage, you’re better off keeping the bomb carriers at bay in the meantime.

Another good thing to mention is how ridiculous an upgraded flairgun can be. It is surprisingly effective on big bots and probably the only way to handle them, as going up close with your flamethower is near suicidal.

You don’t know how to play Demoman.

Demomen can do the highest damage at once with clusters of stickies, which is of course effective on tanks and big bots. A couple of stickies can destroy anything except big bots and tanks instantly, so learn the bomb path and plant your stickies accordingly. And oh my fucking god do not, doNOTgo demoknight, is it useless you will only become cannon fodder.

The best trick to do as a Demo is to use a crit canteen or get a medic to kritz you before laying down stickies. This is a great tactic to do before the round starts and to take out big bots/ tanks as the effect is devastating.

You don’t know how to play Heavy.

Heavies are not about damage!No! Fuck you! Their damage output, even with an upgraded brass beast, isn’t that great. Leave all the huge DPS to the other classes, your focus is on defense and cover fire. Your job is not to kill but to keep bots at bay by providing a wall of bullets.

All miniguns in MvM cause a very small knockback, but your primary goal is to build rage so you can push the assault back and delay their approach. Not only that, when upgraded your minigun can destroy projectiles, enabling you to protect your team even further.

You don’t know how to play Engineer.

There seems to be this theme that everyone thinks Engineers are hot shit and are able to hold back any type of bot with their sentries. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard “We should all go engi!” Guess what? That doesn’t fucking work!As long as you maintain the health of your buildings, and are quick to move and rebuild when necessary, you’ll do fine. Also you’ll suck against tanks, even with a wrangler.

A big trick to dealing with sentry busters is to pick up your sentry, move towards the buster, and move away quickly as it begins to explode. Another overlooked feature is that crit canteens as well as a medic kritz targeting you also affect your turret in MvM by tripling it’s rate of fire.

You don’t know how to play Medic.

Just help keep your team alive, pure and simple. Do not put yourself at risk,do not battle medic, just make sure you’re building uber. Keeping yourself alive and building uber is the most important thing to do, don’t go into harms way to save a teammate just because he’s being an idiot, he’ll respawn faster than you can regain that lost uber.

Kritzkrieg is preferable over the standard medigun, but as long as you have the shared canteen upgrade it really doesn’t matter much. (I also hear the vaccinator works well, but I haven’t had the chance to test it.) Keep in mind that ALL canteen effects can be shared, including refilling ammo and spawn teleporting.

You don’t know how to play Sniper.

Oh sniper, possibly the most deadly of all the classes in MvM, yet people always ridicule it. When properly upgrade, snipers have insane damage output, even versus tanks! (as long as you upgrade reload speed, damage and charge, as you should)Your primary focus as a sniper is to take out big bots, you can take them down in seconds, just remember that you are frail. Snipers can also deal with engi bots in the new campaign, assuming they have a decent line of sight of course.

Snipers can kill small bots instantly and do massive damage to bigger ones. With explosive headshots and jarate they can even slow a group down, effectively providing crowd control as well. Spybots will make snipers a primary target, that is a fact that I have observed, they literally ignore all other teammates and go for the sniper if he’s close enough, watch your back.

You don’t know how to play Spy.

As long as you are properly disguised and not on fire bots will never attack you, so you are free to roam around behind enemy lines and tactically sap critical groups of bots (such as ones around bomb carriers) or big bots. Sapping is your primary job, stabbing is second, if you do it the other way around you will die a lot. Once you have sapped a group and are safe then you can start backstabbing, otherwise you’re better off leaving the others to finish them off. As for big bots, you do a fuck ton of damage at once to them with backstabs if you upgrade your knife (even higher than sniper headshots… much higher), but you must use a hit-and-run tactic to do so. Just sap, stab, run, rinse and repeat. You will also have the secondary role of picking up money, as you don’t have to worry about being attacked as long as you’re cloaked or disguised.  It’s obvious to say you won’t do much against tanks, stick to the bots.

Some forget that spies also reveal enemy cloaked spies nearby, which is why it can be effective to stay near the rest of the group, never stray too far. Spies are also invaluable in the new campaign due to engi bots, it’s good to have one on engi hunting duty. You can also body block enemies to a limited degree while disguised, a bit of a cheap tactic but it can help. Another overlooked feature is the upgrade that gives you a few seconds of crits after a backstab, with it you can take out entire bot clusters pretty quickly if your good with a revolver. Also remember that it does not matter what disguise you have, robots will always be fooled, so avoid slower ones.

Well now, hope this helps you become ever so slightly more competent. Next time I’ll talk about how you don’t know how upgrades work. Toodles.

  1. shane-ss reblogged this from this-is-jdc
  2. dreddigon reblogged this from this-is-jdc and added:
    part where medics need...stop fucking healing everybody
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  13. cyberhell-chan reblogged this from this-is-jdc and added:
    *slaps this to those stuck up ‘oh-I-know-everything’ players in MvM*
  14. battletoadsblog reblogged this from this-is-jdc
  15. smeghenegham reblogged this from this-is-jdc and added:
    Whilst I agree with some of the things here, I have to add a couple of points. Pyro is actually one of the best classes...
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