You suck at MvM and here’s why. Part 2

You suck at MvM.

Do I really have to spell it out for you?

Perhaps I should talk slower this time.

You don’t know how upgrades work

Money goes in, upgrades come out. You can’t explain that!

Well I can, but you can’t, because you are a moron. Don’t worry though, we’re here to fix that, but I’m not a miracle worker.

You don’t know how to upgrade Scout

Your first instinct is probably do upgrade damage right off the bat. Well don’t. You’ll have plenty of money to upgrade it after you buy the more critical upgrades first.

Now since you respawn instantly, and it is easy to heal yourself with money alone, resistances and regen aren’t as useful to a Scout as you think, but if you have a lot of cash left over it doesn’t hurt. Jump height and speed upgrades on a scout can make you soar across a map so you can get back in the game instantly without a teleporter, and they are cheap enough to upgrade early in the game. Eventually you can practically fly over enemies and bomb them from above with mad milk and sandman balls.

Scattergun, Force-a-nature, and shortstop are all good choices. Soda Popper might seem good but it lacks a constant high damage output needed in MvM. Baby face just plain sucks, you’re better off simply upgrading your speed. Get bullet penetration first no matter what weapon. With a scattergun, fire rate and reload speed are good to upgrade early on. Force-a-nature should have it’s clip size upgraded first, reload speed and fire rate are unnecessary as they’re already fast for this weapon. Shortstop already has a quick reload so just focus on fire rate and clip size. After doing these initial upgrades THEN you can focus on damage.

You should always have mad milk, always, and upgrade it as soon as possible.

For melee either sandman or fan-o-war. If you have a fan then you don’t need to upgrade it at all. If you have a sandman then get the marking upgrade first, preferably this should be your very first upgrade.

You don’t know how to upgrade Soldier

For basic class upgrades I would suggest explosive resistance and perhaps health regen, this will allow you to rocket jump without worrying about your health. Since you can rocket jump, adding to jump height isn’t recommended unless you want to jump so high you end up killing yourself when you land. Movement speed can make up for the soldier’s slowness, and it’s fairly cheap to afford.

A really good choice for crowd control is the Beggar’s Bazooka as it can take out an entire group of bots in a massive clusterfuck of rockets, however it’s not as effective on tanks for big bots or when you need to be precise and take out a scout bot that slipped through defenses. Every other weapon is a good choice except for the rocket jumper, the cow mangler even has it’s uses in the new campaign because it helps disable engi buildings. The first thing to upgrade is clip size, ammo capacity, & reload (except for cow mangler as it has no ammo to speak of, so ignore ammo), because you’ll need to be able to pump out a constant stream of rockets early on to take out small bots, worry about damage in the later rounds when you’ll really need it. After the initial upgrades you can focus on projectile speed & fire rate. Depending on what weapon you use you should upgrade each one in their respective order, for example you wouldn’t want to upgrade projhectile speed on a direct hit  or liberty launcher right off the bat. I highly recommend doing damage last as it is much more expensive on Soldiers and with a smaller return (+20% on Soldiers for 500 compared to +25% for 400 on other classes), so projectile speed and fire rate would provide a higher DPS return for less money. If you have money left over just invest in health on kill.

You should always have a banner, always. No shotguns andno boots!Try to upgrade your buff duration relatively soon, your team will love you for it. Any banner works fine in MvM, just remember that Buff Banner requires 600 damage, Concheror requires 480, and Batallion’s requires 350.

You will rarely use a melee weapon for actual damage except for hitting tanks. Pain-train, half zatoichi, market gardener, & half zatoichi are bad choices. The basic shovel is fine, the escape plan can help you run when your health is full and it doesn’t sacrifice damage, and the disciplinary action is good if you’re a team player. If you’re going to upgrade your melee then upgrade speed before damage due to higher DPS returns.

You don’t know how to upgrade Pyro

Movement speed on a Pyro works very nicely, it allows you to apply a hit-and-run strategy on big bots and chase down anything that slips by. s in any class, upgrading resistances is also a decent choice.

Anything but Phlogistinator is fine, sorry but airblasting is very important. Upgrade your airblast and ammo capacity right away, you will be glad you did. Next upgrade burn damage/ duration before damage.

Flair guns can be devastating when upgraded. Go with either a standard flair gun if you want a lot of damage, or scorch shot if you want lots of crowd control. The detonator and manmelter should be avoided. Shotguns are also very limited in usefulness.

Melee has some interesting choices. The usual axetinguisher can be useful for taking out more hearty enemies, but it’s not very efficient on tanks. A back scratcher or poerjack helps if your team has no medic. The third degree is surprisingly useful in MvM against medic bots, especially versus the ones that have several medic bots on one larger one, and it has no negative effects so it can still be effective against tanks. The neon annihilator is also a very good choice if you have a scout with mad milk or a sniper with jarate/ Sidney sleeper, it is a preferable choice over the homewrecker.

You don’t know how to upgrade Demoman

Like Soldier, upgrading your blast resistance and health regen allows you to sticky jump care free. Movement speed is unnecessary as sticky jumping is far more efficient to get across the map.

As long as they’re not the wee booties you’ll be fine with any weapon choice. As with soldier, upgrade ammo capacity, reload speed & clip size first, then move on to firing & projectile speed and finally damage. Also like with soldier, the damage upgrade only gives +20% for 500, so keep that in mind. The loose cannon is a bit different: Due to the fact that you have to “cook” each shot so they explode without hitting the ground to achieve maximum damage upgrades like projectile speed and firing rate are not as effective with such a weapon. However, because the loose cannon shots also do significant knockback (almost as much as a fully upgraded airblast), using the upgrade strategy above will turn you into a rapid firing knockback machine! Very effective against large bots.

Your secondary should be stickly launcher or scottish resistance. Sorry but demoknights have no purpose in MvM in advanced mode or higher, they will easily be overwhelmed by small bots and larger bots will kill them before they get close. Upgrading clip size does not allow you to set more sticky bombs, so in this case upgrading clip size and ammo capacity is not necessary. In fact, this is possibly the only weapon where damage is a main priority, every other upgrade isn’t as necessary as you are not constantly firing it into a hoard of bots.

Stick with your bottle for melee if you want to play it safe. If you’re more of a badass go with the eyelander and hack up weaker bots to boost your head count to maximum (4 heads) so you can benefit from the buff it gives. Any other melee weapon is built around using charge, and since you do not have a shield equipped they are useless. As a Demoman you cannot upgrade damage on melee without a shield, so stick with attack speed to increase your DPS. An excellent strategy is investing in crits-on-kill, so you can hack up a bot and lay down some crit stickies without using up a canteen or uber if your fast enough.

You don’t know how to upgrade Engineer.

Engineers have the unique upgrade to regenerate metal. While this isn’t very critical, consider investing in it after you have invested in all the necessary upgrades. Resistances, movement & jump height, and regen are not very important as you won’t be in the middle of combat, but if you find yourself dying a lot it doesn’t hurt to invest.

Primary weapons shouldn’t be upgraded much, save your money for buildings. However, choosing your primary is important as they are quite varied in how they function. A standard shotgun is fine to use if you can’t decide or have no other option. Widowmaker is a great way to build up metal with a few shots into a group of bots. The pompson is very effective against medic bots and is a good choice on maps where you encounter multiple medic bots healing one big bot or big medc + big bot combos. Rescue ranger is an excellent choice as it allows you to repair buildings with your shotgun ammo in case you run out of metal. If you choose pompson or rescue ranger I recommend upgrading firing speed, clip size, ammo capacity (except for pompson) & reload speed. Upgrading the ranger allows you to repair buildings with greater effectiveness, while an upgrade pompson can cripple bedics and deny them uber. Projectile penetration is very useful on a widowmaker as it allows to hit even more enemies for greater metal returns. I suggest avoiding the frontier justice, your primary should be chosen based on it’s utility not it’s damage.

Secondary should be a wrangler or a short circuit. Since the wrangler doesn’t have any upgrades & the short circuit having no useful upgrades I would suggest swapping between then based on each round. If the round has projectile heavy units, such as rapid fire demomen/ soldiers then use a short circuit, otherwise use a wrangler (especially for tank rounds).

Do NOT use a gunslinger! If you use one prepare to be useless cannon fodder until you switch to something else, provided if your team hasn’t kicked you yet. Just stick with a basic wrench or a jag, eureka effect is useless as you will need to be able to pick up your sentry (and no, the ranger does not override this, you still won’t be able to pick it up) and the hospitality is unnecessary as you will rarely use it for actual damage. It is critical you upgrade your attack speed eventually, because it allows you to repair faster. This is critical in later rounds as all you will be doing is whacking your sentry to compensate all the damage it is being bombarded with.

For buildings upgrade to two way teleporting as soon as possible and upgrade dispenser range first as it is fairly cheap. Worry about building health later in the game, instead focus on firing rate and metal capacity. Always buy mini sentries last as they are expensive as fuck.

You don’t know how to upgrade Heavy

Most idiots build the Heavy for damage output, don’t do this. In fact, the majority of your money will be spend in resistances and health regen if you don’t have a medic. Avoid movement speed & jump height as you’ll be spending most of your time shooting.

Knockback rage should be maxedfirst, no exceptions.Destroy projectiles is useful but expensive, it should be purchased before you encounter projectile heavy enemies. Projectile penetration should be upgraded after knockback rage. After these important upgrades invest in fire rate and ammo capacity, it should be noted that fire rate on heavies is 350 instead of 200 on other classes. Always upgrade damage last, and I meanthe very last,as in after upgrading your resistances and your minigun. Your choice of minigun should be either the standard mingun, Natascha, or Huo-Long Heater. You have no need for the brass beast’s additional damage and the tomislov’s firing speed is too slow.

Secondary should be standard shotgun, family business, or sandvich. You will rarely use your secondary if it’s a shotgun so I wouldn’t recommend spending a lot of money into upgrading it. Upgrading a sandvich isn’t critical, but if you have the cash it doesn’t hurt.

Holiday punch’s laughing effect has no effect on robots, so it’s useless. The only gloves I can recommend other than the standard fists are the GRU (so you can get back into the game faster), or the fists of steel (the bullet resistance can help a lot if you use it the right time).

You don’t know how to upgrade Medic

Upgrading a medic is pretty standard. Regen stacks well with a medic’s natural regen and offsets the butsauger’s negative effect, so it helps with your survival. Speed and jump height also, surprisingly, help really well with keeping up with allies and escaping enemies. Resistances are always optional, but helpful.

You shouldn’t even be touching your primary unless it’s a blutsauger, if so upgrade it’s fire rate and nothing else. The overdose is also good as it helps to escape. A good idea is to use the crusader’s crossbow and the amputator for the extra regen the set provides. (also it’s fun to shoot teammates with healing arrows.)

As for your medigun, alwaysalwaysalwaysupgrade uber charge rate and duration first! Next you should buy share canteens. Afterwards upgrade max overheal and overheal duration and leave heal rate for last. Why leave heal rate last? Because the uber rate is based on how low your ally’s health is, if you heal them too quickly it doesn’t charge up as fast. That doesn’t mean it is useless, it is almost necessary in the later rounds, but by then your allies will be taking enough damage that worrying about ubercharge rates is a thing of the past. Eventually you should have a fully upgraded medigun, this is your primary focus. The best choice of medigun is the kritzkrieg, having crits is more important than invincibility, however as long as you have a canteen filled with the other effect it really doesn’t matter if you choose the standard medigun or a kritzkrieg. The Vaccinator also works well, and having max charge rate lets you pop them off constantly. The Quick-Fix, however, is useless in MvM, and this is coming from someone who is a fan of it in normal TF2. Keep in mind that other canteen effects can be just as useful when shared, so don’t be afraid to coordinate with your team using them.

You really shouldn’t upgrade melee weapons at all, stick to your medigun. As for weapon choices, stick with an ubersaw. If you die a lot then the vita-saw is a good choice. You can also use the amputator + crusader’s crossbow set as mentioned above.

You don’t know how to upgrade Sniper.

Sniper has almost no use for class upgrades, moving on…

How you upgrade your primary is crucial. The basic strategy is to upgrade explosive headshots as soon as possible, then move on to charge rate. Your reload speed basically governs how fast you can pull the trigger, so upgrading it is a must against tanks and big bots. Projectile penetration is also useful, but if you’re using a machina just ignore it. As always, upgrade damage last. The Hitman’s Heatmaker is fantastic in MvM, the focus charge is crazy effective against any enemy, even tanks, and it is fairly easy to build up. The Machina is a good choice as it already has penetration at full charge and it does +15% more damage at full charge which is useful against big bots. The Bazaar bargain can is absolutely ridiculous against big bots since each headshot adds to the count, bot just lethal ones, so if your aim is steady enough you can have blazing fast charge rates. The sidney sleeper is not as functional as one may think: Because it cannot headshot you can’t have explosive headshots, which is the sniper’s most valuable upgrade.

Now I don’t personally approve of huntsman snipers in MvM, but I have been asked to give some advice on how to upgrade them. Get bleed damage first, then penetration, then explosive headshots, and of course damage is last. A good strategy is to have a pyro ignite your shots, very effective on big bots. You will suck against tanks though, so use your melee on them. Jarate also combines well with the bleed effect.

Either Jarate or the Cleaner’s Carbine should be your secondary. Fully upgrade jarate if you have it. On carbine, upgrade clip size and firing speed to make up for it’s disadvantages, but only after upgrading your rifle. If you’re using a huntsman wear a darwin’s danger shield or a carbine using the same upgrade strategy. It is sometimes a good strategy to swap to a razorback before spy rounds. The Cozy Camper is rather useless in MvM, you shouldn’t be anywhere near direct fire in the first place.

You don’t know how to upgrade spy

Spies have little to no use of resistances other than fire, which is a good choice. Speed also helps escaping and hunting down targets, consider investing in it eventually.

Upgrade your sapper first!

Upgrade your sapper first!

No Exceptions!

You can upgrade the fire rate on your revolver to take advantage of the crit-on-kill of your melee weapon, but do this only when you have cash left over. Any revolver is a good choice, except for the diamondback, save that one for the engi campaign.

Attack speed first, armor penetration second, crit-on-kill last. Avoid using your eternal reward, you will need your disguise kit at all times. The conniver’s kunai is an excellent choice to boost your survival. The big earner also works well if you can handle the reduced health. The spy-sickle can be used if you have trouble with pyros, and you don’t have to worry about the negative effect of turning your enemies into ice as the bots AI don’t really notice. If all else fails just use the standard knife.

Any cloak can work, but Dead Ringer just works better.

Alright assholes, that’s it for upgrades, next time I’ll tell you how oblivious you are about enemy bot types. Toodle-pip.

  1. cohensmasterpiece reblogged this from fruj
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  4. spainstateofmind reblogged this from this-is-jdc and added:
    I propose a motion to add the Backburner to the list if useless Pyro primaries in MvM. The cost of airblasting is just...
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  9. dreddigon reblogged this from this-is-jdc and added:
    No offense, but there was a lot of stuff I disagree with here (particularly the Heavy and Sniper bits). The Brass Beast...
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